Curious to learn … why do people stay in AA type programs supposedly long after they’ve stopped using? Why not move on to other things in life? I see folks attend calls and say their x number of year sober. Why still come to the meetings? Why hasn’t their life moved on beyond their addiction? Will it never end so the person can just move on and spend their time on other joyful things?
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In two weeks I’ll have 8 years of sobriety, which I 100% owe to AA. AA isn’t a replacement for life, it opens the doors to life. AA gives me friendship and fellowship and relief and community and a foundation for living that lets me get the most out of life. For me, I’ve realized I can’t find the joy in life if I get too far from the program. AA reminds me to have gratitude and to be less selfish. Going to meetings reinforces the things that keep me sober, and lastly, I always hear exactly what I need to hear when I’m at a meeting. They say our HP speaks through other people and I’ve found that to be true, over and over again. If I’m not there to hear it, I won’t get the message.
I've observed that people that stick around for a long time really appear to enjoy being of service and helping others in the program. It seems they particularly enjoy helping, mentoring, and being present for those that are new to AA. My sense is that they get a ton of joy out of that aspect of the program. I'm on the newer side, but the friendships that develop appear to be very authentic and again, joyful. they probably don't need to go...but they probably enjoy and like being there. to each to their own...
I enjoy the meetings, they are fun, that's where my friends are, and step 12 compels me to help other alcoholics and the best place to do that is at meetings and working with sponsees. If other alcoholics hadn't kept the doors open, then I wouldn't have gotten sober. If I don't stay sober, then I will have no joy in life.
AA member here, little over 3.5 years sober. The meetings and membership is absolutely joyful, not joyless. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but it's there. Alcoholism and addiction are never "over", you have to work for it. If a person's feels they don't need the program, that's fine. But for a lot of us, the program only works if we work it, and going to meetings is essential.
I’ve been sober for 18 months, and went to AA for the first 8 months of my sobriety. For me, it seemed like no matter how long you have been sober, alcohol still has a strong influence over you, just in a different way and the people in my group depended on those meetings like their life depended on it, like if they missed a meeting they would surely drink again. I didn’t like that pressure and still having alcohol on my mind every day. So I stopped going, and I’ve never felt better.
Yup. Alcoholic still has control over you, just in a different way
I’ve been sober for 15 years and still have the urge.
I don’t attend meetings anymore but I really should. I came very close to taking a drink last night.
AA gives me a safe space to help me navigate my feelings and emotions when life is overwhelming. If I didn't have this, I probably would have relapsed a long time ago.
Not everything requires therapy. Sometimes just having a safe space to talk about whats going on is enough. AA provides me with a sponsor, close trusted friends and a general group where I can discuss issues that are impacting me and also give me sound/solid advice, for free. I have gone to therapy for big things like trauma and to work through my PTSD from SA but to pay a therapist to listen about how my boss is being a d*ck or how to deal with an annoying spouse is overkill. Plus so many people can't afford therapy. Last, AA gives us a space to help others, which many times is exactly what we need to do in order to get out of our own heads. Is AA perfect? No. But AA has saved thousands of lives and having a community to turn to 24/7 and for free is a wonderful resource to have when you are trying to stay sober in a world where alcohol is everywhere. A therapist isn't going to provide you with solid advice on how to deal with your family drama but members of AA can because they've been through it.
For the newcomer.
Sure I do but I like to keep sober connections too. There are some things I can only talknabout with other sober women. Plus it sometimes give me an opportunity to help others.
❤️
I attend a handful a month just to keep the social connections.
Don’t you other social connections?
It's relatively easy to enjoy life as a dry drunk when things are going well, all the while my alcoholic mind yet again starts to have thoughts creep in like "it wasn't really that bad" or "maybe you aren't really an alcoholic. Then my wife hits me with the "D" word because of how unhappy her life has become, and my dream job says that I am no longer needed, and then I got REAL uncomfortable. Fortunately, I got myself back into the rooms before I took a drink, and started to see how unmanageable my life had become, even after 9 years without a drink. I know for a fact that I'd be that daily drinker that I swore I'd never become had I not got myself plugged back into AA.